Title: There’s Fantasy, There’s Fallacy, There’s Tumbling Stone
Canon: The Hobbit
Pairing: Thorin Oakenshield/Bilbo Baggins
Rating: Mature [R]
Word Count: 10,055
Summary: Inspired by euclase’s commentary on this post: This makes me want an AU where Thorin Oakenshield is imprisoned by elves and/or enemy dwarves, and to humiliate the king, they cut off his hair and shave off his beard. And after his eventual escape, starved and broken, Thorin hides out in the Shire, where it takes ages for Bilbo to even get him out of bed let alone out the front door. And they fight and argue, and Thorin is a terrible, filthy, weakened, depressed shell of a king. But eventually he does recover, and he and Bilbo get to know each other better, and Thorin teaches Bilbo how to shoot arrows and wield axes on sunny afternoons while Bilbo shows Thorin how to garden. And Thorin’s not sure he has it in him to return home until Fili and Kili and a few others who’ve been searching for him show up on Bilbo’s front stoop—just as they did years before, but of course, their quest is much different this time.
Recommendation: The shearing of a dwarves hair and beard has become something of a trope, but this story stands out. Thorin and Bilbo’s interactions seem to throb with a sweet ache of uncertainty, but the end is all sweetness.